“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
My husband and I met when we were 16 years at an SAT prep class. We quickly became best friends and after college and 6 years of dating, he finally “put a ring on it” and asked me to marry him.
Fast forward 15 years and we are now happily married with 2 precious kiddos and a sweet white fluffy dog. Sounds dreamy, right? It is, but don’t be fooled, marriage is HARD work!!! With so many forces fighting against us, it take a lot of prayer, patience, forgiveness, respect and love to keep growing towards Christ in our marriage.
I do have to admit about 3 years ago, I had gotten into a habit of gently “reminding” my sweet hubby of things he either needed to do or “work on.” Anyone out there relate? Well, one Sunday on our way to church, I was again “reminding” my handsome fella about who knows what and I clearly heard the Lord speak to me…..It was as loud in my head as I had ever heard….and needless to say, I had NEVER heard the Lord say anything like this to me….ready? The Lord said, “SHUT UP!! How can he hear MY voice if all he hears is yours?”
I stopped talking mid sentence and like a dog with his tail between its legs when he knew he did something bad, quietly sat in my seat and didn’t speak another word. It made me think about the verse in Proverbs 25:24, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a nagging wife.”
I would like to say that I immediately broke this bad habit of “reminding” but it actually took some time and a lot of self-discipline to change my thoughts and ultimately my words. I truly needed a dose of some humility and a perspective change by the Holy Spirit.
A few weeks ago, as I was praying and listening for the Lord, He popped this passage in my mind and I have been thinking about it ever sense. It is truly amazing to me to think that behavior can be more impactful than words. In the passage above, Peter instructs wives to submit to their husbands and have respectful behavior.
I don’t believe that God thinks that women are any less important than men, but I do know that in a family role, the man is the head. But let’s talk about that respectful behavior……how can we as women, be the wife that God has called us to be so our marriage can be “abundantly more?”
You as the wife can only change yourself….not your husband….you are in control of your thoughts, words and behavior.
Here are a few tips that can help get you on God’s path for a joyful home and marriage.
- Pray often…for yourself, your spouse and your family. Ask God to let everything that comes out of your mouth be Colossians 4:6…full of grace and seasoned with salt...
- Be cheerful! No one likes to be around a stick in the mud…yes there may be days when you don’t feel good or are anxious about the day (again ask God for help), but try your best to be cheerful around your spouse and treat him like he’s your bff (b/c he is, right?)
- Give grace….yes, God gives us grace each day when we screw up…I know us wives are pretty close to perfect (haha) but your sweet hubby who loves you so much messes up too and you need to overlook offenses, and extend grace generously.
- Forgive…yep I said it….it’s really a word that makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable but it has HUGE benefits. God forgave you and constantly forgives you….so like Nike says, “Just do it!”
- Praise him!! Speak the language of respect….most men have the love language of “words of affirmation” so point out things throughout the day to praise your husband about. Tell him how much you appreciate him…in whatever areas…that you are proud of him. Even if you are not feeling that “loving” you can still find wonderful things about him you can point out.
Just remember, you can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. God has called you to be a wife (of course if you are married) and he has empowered you to have the marriage that is a blessing because He has ordained it and is fighting for you too!
So reject any negative thoughts and don’t speak them (remember, you don’t want the Lord to tell you to SHUT UP!!), and enjoy one of the biggest blessings that God has give you….your husband!